My Way Home

The pens have been lifted. The pages have dried.

Relocation October 9, 2014

Filed under: Milestones of Life — hazelin @ 7:39 am


Alhamdulillah for the extra energy today benefited from following my O&G consultant’s advice to take (or rather start religiously consuming back) the iron tablets prescribed to me. It has been a strenuous period for the past few weeks for the whole family as we are in the midst of relocating process. I’ll be moving back to Semenanjung after 7 good years in Kota Kinabalu.

Talking about relocation, it is taking a whole lot of momentum and energy to initiate the process, going through the transition period before being able to settle down in a new place or environment. We have gone through the challenging initiation period which has taken longer time than we expected. The unanticipated challenges had somehow pulled me back to re-evaluate the decision that had been agreed before. It was not about the right or wrong of the decision. You can plan and make all the calculation. But life is not made of mathematical theories and logic. “...and they devised plans and Allah too had arranged a plan; and Allah is the best of planners.” (Al-Quran, 8:30).

So now we are in the transition mode for almost a month. I believe it’s the most demanding phase. Alhamdulillah for all the support rendered by family members and friends. Hope to be able to pass this stage soon.


Heart of Muslim July 23, 2014

Filed under: Milestones of Life — hazelin @ 11:35 am

Looking up at the sky, searching for Allah most High
He rejected the way of worshipping Gods of clay
Prophet Ibrahim knew that Allah was near
And that the heart of a Muslim is sincere

Under the hot burning sun, he declared God is one
Though with stones on his chest, his Imaan would not rest
The Muadhin knew that right would conquer wrong
And the heart of a Muslim must be strong

It’s the heart of a Muslim through the guidance of Islam
That makes you fair and kind and helpful to your fellow man
So living as a Muslim means that you must play a part
Allah looks not at how you look, but what is in your heart

In our poor meager state, little food on our plate
Mother said she was glad, always sharing what we had
When I asked how can we share what’s not enough
She said the heart of a Muslim’s filled with love

He said its time you should know, you will learn as you grow
That some people around will do what’s bad to bring you down
Father said to be a star that’s shining bright
For the heart of a Muslim does what’s right

So whatever you do, make sure your words are true
Honesty is the best, because life is a test
Even if it hurts so much you want to cry
For the heart of a Muslim does not lie

Taharrau Lailatul Qadr!

– Ramadhan 1435-



Abang December 14, 2012

Filed under: Milestones of Life — hazelin @ 3:07 pm

ImageOh boy, you grow up so fast that we almost lost track of you!

Aadil is exactly 2 when his sister arrives (a pretty good timing so mama and baba can save on a shared birthday cake :)). Most of parenting notes describe young toddler at this age as TWO terrible, TWO troublesome. Heheh, it is somehow true.

Aadil is just TWO active! The only time to see him stay put is when he’s asleep or when he’s busy with gadgets like iphone, ipad – which is bad, i know :(. He’s now has become a chatterbox too. He tries to imitate every single thing that he hears – every word that people around him say and every sound that things around him make! Seriously, TWO cute!!!

I think his brain is developing very fast at this stage that we as parents should not taking it for granted. I have put less attention to Aadil towards final weeks of pregnancy and let Abu Aadil to spend most time with him as a transition stage before the arrival of the sister. Alhmdlh now after berpantang, i hope to be able to spend more time with him and become his first and best teacher 🙂

We are sending him to school next year for 2 main reasons:
1. Hope to reduce his exposure to tv n gadgets
2. Improve his socializing skill.

If he got to learn something new at school at this age; that will be a bonus as in KK we dont have the luxury of various montessories or child care that offers both good islamic and academic learning syllibus. So, we have no choice but to homeschool Aadil and become his best and most favourite teachers.


Welcome to the world, Ulyaa.. December 13, 2012

Filed under: Motherhood — hazelin @ 6:40 am


One (very) active young toddler in the house is enough to make our life becomes so occupied. I don’t get the luxury to have my hands on the laptop at home that often anymore and typing a long entry on iPhone is not so ergonomic. I think I have got enough good reasons for leaving this blog dusty for sooo long. Too many events were left unwritten but I make special effort for this special moment: the birth of our second child!

Alhamdulillah, i safely delivered a baby girl with 3.3 kg birth weight on 31 October 2012, 12.36pm at KK Specialist Centre. We named her Wan Ulyaa binti Wan Muhammad; a name inspired by a verse in the Quran (9:40).

Many people say every pregnancy is unique which applies to me as well. The second pregnancy experience was more challenging to me as I had a very slow total weight gain (baby’s weight increasing perfectly; which meant I was the one who lose weight). Blood test showed that my Hb was pretty low (around 7 as opposed to normal Hb count 12 gm/dl). I was forced to take Iberet Folic which made me throw up after I consumed. I often have sleep deprivation starting around 30 weeks of pregnancy due to back pain. And I had Braxton Hicks at 35 weeks which had made the staff nurse at the hospital thought I came to check my contraction pattern on CTG was only for a joke >_<

So on D day which was actually at 37 W 2 D, I curled up myself on bed after performing Fajr prayer as I had this uneasy feeling in my stomach. There were three possibilities: gastrities, another Braxton Hicks or real labor! I calmly told my husband that I may need to take medical leave if the pain continues – but this time just go to normal clinic (not hospital) to avoid another embarrassment.

Nonetheless, the pain intermittently continued. At 6.30 am, i started to take note on the timing – it was 10-minute interval. I requested my husband to get Aadil prepared to be sent to his babysitter’s house earlier that day in case of real labor. At the same time I called up my mom and texted my MIL to inform that I already had this almost-like-labor continuous pain. Everyone was praying it’s not the time yet since my MIL’s flight was 3 weeks away and we might have to buy an emergency ticket for mama to come over.

I was quite sure it was real labor when the contraction pattern has become more frequent and more severe with 7-minute interval. I slowly packed up my delivery bag (yes, got scolded by mum for not preparing it earlier). Alhamdulillah husband was back from sending Aadil with a packed breakfast for me. I religiously ate my meal, grabbed a few dates and continuously drink air zam zam in the hope to have enough energy for the ‘battle’. This is a lesson learnt from Aadil’s labor experience in which I didn’t have enough energy to push which made doctor decided to assist the delivery with kiwi vacum.

The pain became more intense and I continuously recite du’a Fatimah, istighfar and selawat; together with my zauj. Alhamdulillah for the breathing technique I had learnt from akhawat and the YouTube; which helped me a lot to stay calm; focused and bear with the pain.

When we reached hospital, I was assisted by the same staff nurse who attended me during the false labor last time. Looking at me severely in pain, she asked permission to straight away check my dilation. To my shocking, it was 7cm. I was then sent to labor room straight away.
It was a whole new experience:
– My legs were ‘hung’ to the looped belt at the bed frame to ensure good opening for ease of delivery (I guess).

– The labor room was very busy that day since most of my doctor’s patients ‘chose’ to deliver on that day; before she left Taiwan on the next day for 7-day marathon leave. So doctor was running one patient to another; which somehow made me nervous. But the nurses seemed to be very experienced and skillful.

– No pain killer at all. I planned to take epidural to experience a more relaxed labor but it was too late for that. Alhamdulillah, Allah has made it easy for me. I can never thank You enough my Allah..

– This time I have my zauj by my side throughout the labor! I was grateful to have someone to share the pain and happiness during that crucial moment.

After about 90 minutes in the labor room,with just three pushes i safely deliver my girl.

So that’s my short story of Ulyaa’s labor. I shed tears of thankfulness;

Thankful to Him who has made the delivery smooth and relatively easy

Thankful to Him who has granted us a beautiful and healthy baby girl

Thankful to Him for His endless bounty upon us.

Subhanallah, Alhamdulillah, Allahu Akbar.

“And We have enjoined upon man to be kind to his parents; in pain did his mother bear him, and in pain did she give him birth. The carrying of a child to his weaning is thirty months. At length, when he reaches the age of full strength and is forty years (old), he says, ‘O my Lord! Grant me that I may be grateful for Your favors, that You bestowed me and upon both my parents; that I may do righteous deeds that are acceptable to You; and be gracious to me with regards to (my own) offspring. Surely, I turn to You repentant, and I wholly give myself (to You).” (Qur’an 46:15)


Hope to make it this time! January 22, 2012

Filed under: Milestones of Life — hazelin @ 5:32 am

One of the tips to get you to read is to write.

Another promise to myself to get back to writing.

But this time, with a focus, with a theme. Hope to be able to launch it very soon.


Mesej untuk ibu.. May 11, 2011

Filed under: Milestones of Life — hazelin @ 5:45 am


Bila Allah bg rezeki jd isteri n ibu, baru dpt rasakan sendiri betapa besarnya pengorbanan n kesabaran yg perlu dimiliki. Kita ingin memberikan yg terbaik utk anak n suami, walau pun hakikatnya kita ada byk tugasan lain yg membebani. Kita ingin org yg disayangi bahagia, sihat n ceria; walaupun diri penat n lesu terasa. Terima kasih ibuku.. jasamu takkan pnh terbalas oleh manusia..


What’s up?

Filed under: Milestones of Life,Not-So-Random Thoughts — hazelin @ 5:36 am


Oh, dah lamanya tak menulis.
Many things happened interesting enough to be shared but i just managed to write them down in my head.

1. Returning back to office after a luxurious maternity leave. I only had less than two months to complete all kpis that i promised to do in my performance contract. Alhamdulillah mama n cik ah were here to accompany us (i mean aadil n i since baba still away). Jazakumullahu khairan, only Allah can pay back all your good deeds. They were here for two months, with the hope that aadil would be prepared to be sent to nursery at the age of four month.

2. We are finally together as Wan family! Alhamdulillah! Allahu akbar! Penantian n doa hampir 2 tahun akhirnya termakbul.. Bila dah rasa nikmat living together under one roof, rasa hilang penat lelah duka luka waktu berjauhan. Ini baru secicip nikmat duniawi.. Teringat satu hadith yg lbh kurg mafhumnya:
Org yg paling nikmat d dunia, apabila d celup dgn satu celupan d neraka dia lupa semua nikmat dunia seolah tidak pernah merasa nikmat dunia.
Org yg paling susah di dunia, dimasukkan ke syurga sekelip mata, dia lupa semua kesusahan dunia seolah2 tak pernah mengalami kesusahan dunia.

Semoga dapat kukecapi nikmat syurga.. Amin..

3. Aadil will be 7 months next week!!! How time flies!! He’s doing amazing, growing up and developing new skills over the time at his own pace (yes, every baby’s development is unique). Now preparing himself for crawling- lifting up his butt/ back, doing stationary swimming (rupa macam nak berenang tp tak gerak ke mana pon). Mama n baba know that it’s time for us to also prepare the house to be child proof. Ouh, he’s also advancing his verbal skill. Dah pandai sebut mamama when he wants to be fed and say bababa when he needs nappy change! Clever boy 🙂

4. After some hesitation and thirough life cycle cost analysis, i finally got myself an iphone4. Yes, might be a bit late as the next generation of iphone is emerging soon anyway. Well, i aint an into-latest-cutting edge-gadget kind of person. As long as it can serve my need, i can live with just a basic laptop and handphone. But with additional roles and responsibilty, i decided to make some investment so that i can serve my role more effectively and efficiently. So this lil gadget in my hand comes with this oath. Huhuhu..

I think enough for now. Pen off.